Today I’m going down to the West Village to learn about booty. No, it’s not what it sounds like. I’m taking a class at WILLSPACE called as*pire (please take a second to appreciate the totally genius title). As*pire is a class dedicated to building beautiful backsides. As soon as it hit the FITiST schedule, I was signed up.
Independent of its catchy name, the class sells itself. Kim Kardashian, J.Lo, Beyonce, Pippa Middleton…with so much celebrity inspiration, who isn’t as*piring these days? I know I am. I hop on the subway and head towards the vaccine for a country-club-behind (noun; the kind of butt you’ve probably seen in white jeans and a tunic, in a tennis dress, or anywhere in J. Crew).
When I arrive at WILLSPACE, I meet Liz, booty professional to the stars. Immediately I survey her backside. What? “You never trust a skinny chef.” Same logic applies here. Liz passes my ASSessment with flying colors! Assuming she’s not wearing butt pads (that is a link. They do exist.), I’m confident that my rear is in good hands.
The class is held in the back studio at WILLSPACE. Liz closes the gauzy white shades on the studio’s glass door in order to ensure our privacy. I guess some people aren’t proud of their as*pirations; I, however, have no shame. We work through three series of exercises; each series consists of three butt-blasting movements punctuated by “sprints.” Not the kind of sprints you typically think of, but bursts of stationary cardio—high knees running in place, rock-climbers, and alternating side burpees. Fun stuff. Liz makes it all look easy enough, but my glutes argue—vehemently—otherwise. As*piring quickly leads to perspiring.
As*pire is a much more difficult workout than I expected. I’ve always marveled at well-endowed celebrities, but I figured butts were like boobs—you either have it or you don’t. Turns out, a butt requires cultivation. You can cheat with silicone and padding, but at the end of the day, nothing beats the real thing/”thang.” Besides, where do you put your butt pads when you’re wearing a bathing suit?! There’s no way around it, a dazzling derriere takes work and, at WILLSPACE, there are no ifs or ands…just butts.
